Autobiography and Fiction in Love on the Big Screen

With the first readers finishing up Love on the Big Screen, questions like this one have begun to roll in via Facebook, email, and text:  Did the Sunday meetings in underwear/helmets really happen?  Am I right that Moon is actually_________?  Isn’t The Dini based on______?   In other words, these readers want to know from me How much of your actual life is in Love on the Big Screen?

Let me start to answer this with something I wrote at the request of the publisher, Cherokee McGhee:   While many people I know would be able to claim they see parts of themselves in the characters I have written, they would also have to admit that I’ve told a lot of lies about them.  In this case, for me, if my book is some sort of fruit smoothie, then my life and all the shades of personalities I came across in college are all a bunch of different berries.  I’ve taken them all up as a part of a creative recipe, added a bunch of additional ingredients I either made up or collected in the years since my undergraduate graduation, and I threw all of that possibility into a giant writing blender and created my book.

 

William Torgerson Love on the Big Screen Bon Jovi
Me back in my "Billy" days rocking my Bon Jovi Concert t-shirt

My main problem with my own Smoothie Metaphor is that it is too violent; otherwise, I think it does the job.  Take for example my protagonist Zuke, whose last name is Zaucha.  The last name of one of my good college friends is Zaucha and we used to call him Zuke.  In choosing that sort of nickname, I am going for something I’ve experienced in my own life:  people who know me tend to call me Torg.  This happens even when I move, and I move often:  it’s like secret DNA social code that people call me “Torg.”  Unless my dad is around and then I’m Little Torg or Billy.

 

The personality of my friend Zaucha does not additionally seep into my protagonist.  As I recall, my friend did have a new car and he wouldn’t let us eat in it and he wouldn’t let us roll down the windows.  I also remember him keeping to the sidewalks to keep his sneakers clean.  Sure, I’d make fun of him for that, but his car and sneakers stayed immaculate long after mine had been “trashed.”  I gave that aspect of the real Zaucha’s personality to my character Moon.  Another friend of mine has emailed me and noted that he thinks Moon is a combination of himself and the guy with the last name Zaucha.  Writing this, I recall that I’ve often heard the writer Sedaris talking about this aspect of his writing.  That he is always thinking about what he will use and that his friends and family seem to try and watch themselves because they know they are likely to show up in the next book.  Recently, some people have started to point out to me when they say something clever and they suggest that maybe that should go in a future story.

Here are some similarities I have to my protagonist Zuke:  we were both English majors for non English-y reasons (me because my parents were English teachers and Zuke because he wants to be around “Glory,” we were both bench-warming college basketball players, and we both went to plays in Chicago where we were surprised by nude witches. Certainly we share exactly the same taste in movies.

What is very different about us is that Zuke learns his lessons much more quickly than me.  I think I’m still learning but it probably took me until around the age of 32 to pretty much get what Zuke gets at the close of Love on the Big Screen.  I certainly did not experience any “love storms” of the sort Zuke experiences in the book.  There were no balcony collapses in my ONU life but I’ve come to learn (I think) that there was one of those in ONU’s history.  Not sure if I repressed that or if it’s just coincidence.  I read once that Stephen King made up a pornographic cartoon magazine for The Green Mile and that later in his life someone sent him a copy of the publication that he made up.  I think if you can dream it up, it’s probably out there.  (and much more!)

A bit about the names and the nicknames.  Some names I’ve made up but most are from my life.  It was a common criticism of my work in just about every writing workshop I’ve been in that the nicknames were confusing.  Readers, what did you think?  However, I find that in my life, nicknames are everywhere and I list a lot of those in the book.  i.e. Charles Barkley was the Round Mound of Rebound or most of us have heard of the NY Yankee, A-Rod.  When people pick at your work, instead of editing it out, that might be something that can become MY STYLE.  Part of my style could be an affinity for nicknames.  I notice that Chekhov uses a  lot of them.

While revising Love on the Big Screen, I knew I had a novel-in-stories called Horseshoe (Zuke’s fictional hometown) and I had in mind that someday I wanted to write a modern-day tragedy that I was thinking about calling Knucklehead.  I knew this guy with the last name Nuckles, and obviously if a character is going to have a tragic fault, Knucklehead has some nice play in it to work with.  So I made up this guy Knucklehead in the revision thinking down the line of books I might write, and now I’ve got people identifying who they think Knucklehead is.  For example, I have him being the son of a school superintendent, and so now for every place I’ve ever attended or worked (this list is kind of long: at least nine schools) there are suggestions from each geographical area that they think they know who I’m writing about.  I guess writers of fiction always answer these sorts of questions? In Love on the Big Screen, I have Zuke hitting a last-second shot and the homecoming queen is waiting for him after the game.  Later, there’s another surprise in the form of a young lady.  None of this happened to me.  It represents what I’ve experienced about being a basketball player but as with the lessons of the novel for Zuke, my experience took much more time to unravel.

I’m glad to have the questions about the book, and it’s been fun to try and think where the ideas come from.  To understand, I think you have to work with language daily and experience the surprise of what occurs to you to write.  I lived a life and everything I’ve experienced is certainly fair game for any situation or character that I’m trying to create.  I’m sure some things creep from my mind to the page without me realizing their origins.  Maybe most of what I write is like that?  But to answer the question about the helmets and the underwear:  yes we did have matching boxer shorts with our nicknames embroidered on them. Yes they shrank and were obscenely tight.  Yep, you had to play naked if you missed but unlike the novel, I don’t remember there being any legitimate excuses.  If you missed, you were naked the next time.  We had Toys R Us-bought medieval helmets too small for our fat twenty-something heads, and something not in the book, we even borrowed hymnals from the dorm’s prayer chapel and sang ourselves an opening song.  That, I don’t think, was my idea.

My Personal Notes for Class With Links: Thur. 1/20/2011

Lesson Plans / Jan. 20, 2010 / First Day

Prof. Bill Torgerson

English Composition

The Metaphor

  • Don’t know what to write
  • Gap between speaker and audience
  • Energy
  • The notion of a larger conversation, also the professional conversation

Take everybody through the big idea as written on the syllabus

Emphasize:  WHAT DO YOU WANT TO INVESTIGATE?

We will build on what has been done before.  My expectations for your work will have evolved from the work that was done before.  What I’m asking you to do this semester will be at least slightly different from what I asked of the students last semester.

Writing territories:

Blog:

Scholarly Personal Narrative:

Documentary Film:

http://proftorg.wordpress.com/2010/10/14/prof-torgs-reccomended-documentaries/

Watch some student films on my computer

Final Portfolio:

http://suchissally.wordpress.com/

http://crista16.wordpress.com

For Mon. 1/24:

  • Buy a composition journal for daily note taking.  We’ll call this a Daybook because Prof. Torg really admired this guy named Donald Murray who used that term.
  • Click here to be taken to the course website:  http://stjohns.campusguides.com/content.php?pid=175144
  • Go to the “Click Here for Student Blogs” tab.  Click on Prof. Torg’s blog (it’s first) and read his “Dear Swimmers in Language” letter that explains this course.  Once you get your blog set up, write us a note to launch your blog and introduce yourself to us.
  • On the course website, click on the “Sample Work/Tutorial Videos” tab and watch Prof. Torgerson’s video titled “Getting Started with a WordPress Blog.”
  • Set up a WordPress Blog.  Email Professor Torgerson your link.  If your blog is to be private, add him as a reader.  Use this format:  LAST NAME, FIRST NAME (CLASS TIME)
  • Return to Prof. Torg’s blog and find the post entitled “Writing Territories.”  Copy and paste the prompts into your own new blog post.  Respond to the prompts by making lists after each prompt.  At the end of your lists, choose something from your list to write about.  Tell us a story from that item on your list or tell us about one of those items on your list.  The total word count should be 400 words.  If you find yourself short, go back to your “writing territories” list and write about something in addition to what you’ve already written.

Music and Movies Book Group at Barnes and Noble:  I do a book group the third Monday night of each month.  On the night of Monday, Feb. 21st, we’re going to discuss Chuck Klosterman’s book, Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs.

Time permitting:  Form a group of five.  Learn each other’s names.  What have people in your history said about how to write?  In other words, list 5 rules for writing that you’ve heard someone say or that you’ve learned for yourself.  Finally, come up with a definition for good writing.

Notes For Jan. 17 Music and Movies Book Club


My own novel, Love on the Big Screen, now available on Amazon and Barnes and Noble

On Monday night Jan. 17 at the Fresh Meadows Barnes and Noble at 7:30, we’ll be discussing Rob Sheffield’s Love is a Mix Tape. We’d love to have you join us either face-to-face in the store or else here online with a comment to this blog post.  I also want to share that my novel, Love on the Big Screen, is now available in the states online through Amazon or Barnes and Noble and soon to be available internationally.  Coming soon to Kindle and Nook.

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Rob Sheffield / The Guy:

  • What do you think of the Rob Sheffield you meet in the book?  His relationship with Renee?
  • If you finished the book, what was it that kept you listening to Rob’s story?
  • “I listen to Hey Jude now, and I think two things:  I never want to hear this song again, and in 1979, my dad was around the age I am now, and given a Saturday afternoon he could have spent anyway he pleased, he chose to spend it with his twelve-year-old son, making this ridiculous little tape.  He probably forgot about it the next day.  But I didn’t.”  (17)
  • “How do you turn down the volume on your personal-drama earphones and learn how to listen to other people?”

Love:

  • Do you have a wish list for a potential romantic partner?  Is this sort of mental exercise helpful when it comes to navigating love? (67)
  • When you get married, you hope__________? (129)
  • “If she breaks my heart, no matter what the hell she puts me through, I can say it was worth it, just because of right now.”  (70)
  • What did/do you and your romantic partners fight about?  (102)
  • How do you know when it’s love? (4)

Music:

  • Did/do you make mix tapes?  Tell us about them?
  • Did your parents listen to music?  If you listen, how did you find your way into what you listen to?  Why _______ and not ________?
  • That night, I learned the hard way:  If the girls keep dancing, everybody’s happy.  If the girls don’t dance, nobody’s happy. (34)

Sheffield writes, before Murphy's death, "Remember Brittany Murphy..." / from TheJC.Com

Death / Life:

  • What would you leave behind? (10)
  • The moment when we find out what happened to Renee. (14)  What book did you think you were going to read?
  • Remember Brittany Murphy, the funny, frizzy-haired, Mentos-loving dork in Clueless? By 2002, she was the hood ornament in 8 Mile, just another skinny starlet, an index of everything we’ve lost in that time. (215)
  • Some hope in tragedy:  “We know the universe is out to burn us, and it gets us all the way it got Renee, but we don’t burn each other, not always.”  (167)

What do a bunch of New York college students think of when they think of Indiana? (or the Midwest)

crystal meth, tornadoes, no public transportation, that 70s show, Indians, horses, the Derby, overalls, flat land, Indiana University known party school, dirt (3x), rural (2x), river, republicans, nowhere land, tumbleweeds (4x), western movies (2x), lots of driving, Middle of Nowhere (4x), Country, Boring (5x), farms (8x), Indianapolis, Indiana Jones, lots of land, cows, basketball, boonies, do you mean India?, sunny, hot (2x), wild, barren, plains, cowboys (2x), guitar, country music, Pacers (3x), Junior Gold bowling tourney, accent (4x), no idea, small (3x), cacti (2x), mountains, coyotes, snakes, Colts (2x), quiet  (4x), Larry Bird, potatoes, Michael Jackson (3x), close-knit, corn, flat, Hoosiers (2x), Dorothy, I’ve heard they talk like you’re supposed to talk, Peyton Manning, Reggie Miller, wide open (2x), cold, country (2x), animals, relax, agriculture, Notre Dame, Noodles and Company, hillbillies (2x), snow, never thought of it before this, I know it’s a state, good music, Bible belt, conservative, small town people, Where’s that? (2x), hicks, hospitality
I've never seen a tumbleweed in Indiana!

From “Torg”:  Why am I asking my students such a question?

A while back I wanted to finish the following:  my novel A Viking on the Subway, a script adaptation of Viking, revise my collection Horseshoe so that it is a novel-in-stories, and then do a script for it too.  I’ve finally finished all that, and so I’m turning to the next project.  I’ve been thinking that I want to write something that comes from my students at St. John’s University for my students at St. John’s University.  What I mean by that is that I think all of us here at SJU have a unique opportunity to meet and talk with people from all over the world who have all sorts of backgrounds.

Yes, we do have cornfields.

Even for those who are from the city, I often find that each student’s neighborhood, block, or building may not be very diverse.  In other words, a lot of us tend to hang out with people who are like us.  For this book, which might involve a road trip from NYC to my home state of Indiana, I’d like to draw on all the chances I have to see beyond stereotypes, write a story that flies past those stereotypes, and hopefully tell an interesting story that my students past, present, and future would enjoy.

My initial impression was that most of my students not from the United States wouldn’t have even heard of “Indiana.”  After all, did you know that Cote d’Ivoire is a country or that the Yangtze River is the longest river in Asia?  Perhaps you do, but I’m a bit embarrassed to admit, I’m not sure I did when I showed up here to teach writing.  For the most part, my students nailed it with “farms” being the most common answer.  I’m not quite sure where all the tumbleweeds came from.  🙂

Indianapolis, Indiana

My Notes On Juliet, Naked: One Way to Do A Book Group

Music and Movies Book Club:  Nick Hornby’s Juliet, Naked

Barnes and Noble, Fresh Meadows

The following guidelines are meant to stimulate a guided conversation.  Following each prompt, we’ll all get a chance to respond.  Feel free to “pass” if you find yourself uncomfortable or with nothing to say at the moment, and please do not dominate conversation by talking too much.  After each person shares, let’s see if we want to pick up on somebody’s observation or question before we go on to the next prompt.

  1. Would you introduce yourself and say if you’ve come hoping to talk about one particular aspect of Juliet, Naked?
  2. Take a minute to try and come up with an observation or a question that we all might chat about.  This question could be connected to plot, a character, or anything else that comes to mind.
  3. Is there a particular section of the book that you want to point us to?  Find a spot that you found particularly interesting and maybe share a little bit about why.
  4. If we’re having trouble finding something to talk about, here’s some questions or themes we might consider:
    1. What was pleasurable about your reading?  And not so pleasurable?
    2. The issue of “fandom.”  Duncan is obsessed with Tucker Crowe.  Surely, Hornby experiences readers who look to him as Duncan looked to Crowe.  Conversely, Hornby is a well-known soccer obsessive and passionate fan of music.  Do you consider yourself fans of someone or something?  How are you like/unlike what we read here?
  • P. 165  crazy guy with no friends who’d been to see you three times this week
  1. There are lots of relationships:  Annie/Duncan, Annie/Tucker, Tucker/Jackson, Tucker and his ex wives and other children, Annie and her therapist, and many friendships such as Tucker and Fake Tucker, or Annie and Ros.  What did you find interesting about the relationships?  What, if anything, does the book seem to be saying about how relationships work?
  2. What do we notice in this story about art?  How is art created?  Tucker creates music that he thinks is phony.  Suddenly, he stops producing art and then he is able to create something new at the end?  As we read, we experience Hornby’s creation of the novel.
  • P. 39  The creation of art from rage.; P. 46  What great art does; P. 65  Art also as the writing of an internet essay; P. 257 an artist makes extravagant emotional gestures to help people feel
  1. How would you characterize Hornby’s style?  How do you know you’re reading Hornby and not some other writer?
  2. An activity to try from page 99.  What have you done with your life?
  3. What do you make of the ending?
  • What’s Annie doing?  How do you know?
  • What did Tucker do?  How will it be received?
  1. Care to share other books you’ve read and liked?  Of Hornby’s?  Connected to music and movies?  I was thinking of trying something from Rob Sheffield next.  He’s done Love is a Mix Tape and Talking to Girls about Duran Duran.

Handout prepared by William Torgerson

Assistant Professor, St. John’s University

Author of forthcoming novel, Love on the Big Screen